Let’s talk business…about poop.

A few weeks ago, during a text conversation with “he who shall remain nameless” this happened:

FullSizeRender_2

FullSizeRender

And so, the blog challenge was born.

Mind you, I’m quite comfortable talking about poop and apparently, I’m not alone. In fact, there are literally thousands of people who blog about poop daily.  They even take pictures of their poop.  Curious?  Sure you are!  You can check out some seriously shitty pictures here, http://posturpoop.tumblr.com, but be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart, and if you’re at work, you probably don’t want that shit showing up in your browser history!  Save it for when you’re, well, in the crapper, taking care of business.

When I started brainstorming about how I was going to approach this blog and it’s content I admit that the first thing that came to mind was my recent EX, a real POS (that’s short for piece of shit; not point of sale), Mr. LLPOF (you’ll get to meet him in a future blog), but I shit-canned that idea because, quite frankly, I’m not ready to deal with that crap.

Then I started thinking about all the slang words out there that we use on a daily basis to describe our poo and the action of pooping.  I won’t list them, because really, I don’t give a crapola and you’re big boys and girls so you can go on your own by clicking the link below and maybe you’ll even learn a few new terms that you didn’t know existed.  Although, I do call bullshit on some of them because, well, quite frankly they’re asinine (except for maybe “team meeting” and “mexican heartburn” which makes me giggle just a little bit): http://www.heptune.com/poopword.html.

During my research of anything poop, I came across a website with a tool that proclaims to measure your crap.  If you want to know how much you’ve actually shit so far in your lifetime, you can go to this gem of site because they have a “poop calculator” ready to tally your bowel movements, http://numbertwoguide.com.  Genius!  I’ll have to remember that next time I’m dropping the kids off at the pool.

Ironically, last week, as I was midway through creating this blog, I was bitch slapped with that nasty GI virus that’s currently running amok across our great nation right now.  One minute I was fine and the next, I woke from a sound sleep, sphincter clenched, just praying I would make it to the bathroom before I blew out my pjs. I would go on to spend the next several days logging some quality time on the throne with my iPhone (hey, I made a rhyme) hoping and praying that one day soon my life would return to normal and I’d be blessed with a solid bowel movement.  I know you feel me, because we have all been there.  I would like to take a moment to acknowledge all my awesome peeps who kept me company while I was slowly dying in the bathroom.  You didn’t know it, but you were my lifeline and that makes you the shiznit!

MjAxMi0yMzRlZjlhNzYzZGVhMDI1

Poop.  It’s really an endless topic of conversation, but honestly, I’m kind of pooped-out now, so, if you want to read some entertaining crappy stories check out this website for a good chuckle,http://storiesaboutpooping.tumblr.com.

Until next time….

Love, Jeni

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Let’s talk business…about poop.

  1. Wow. I didn’t think that was going to drop this soon. You pushed out a good one! I must say, I’m impressed. You handled that task…gracefully? I feel compelled to tell you that as I write this, I am stocking the pond with some brown trout.
    Round one of the blog challenge is in the can.
    Nicely done J-love.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. While working on my septic system this past weekend I was knee deep is doody and shoveled a lot of shit but the best part was when an in-law showed up in middle of all this work and knowingly used the toilet the number two. When I thanked him for his contribution to project he said He had to escort the Browns to the Super Bowl. That didn’t make it any better.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s